Dec 18, 20215 min read

Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones

Today's blog entry is a mix of quotes, playlists, lyrics and extracts from either this blog or my book Paper Doll:

“I will survive my grief. Amen. I have run into the darkness and arrived in the morning still living. Amen. I have made my home anywhere I still have a name. Amen”

Hanif Willis-Abdurraqui

Best of country:

Jolene - Dolly Parton
The End of the World - Skeeter Davis
Jackson - Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash
Fist City - Loretta Lynn
Stand by Your Man - Tammy Wynette
Send me the pillow you dream on - Johnny Tillotson
Make the world go away - Eddy Arnold
Almost Maybe’s - Jordan Davis
The Bones - Maren Morris
Golden Hour - Kacey Musgraves
Picture to burn - Taylor Swift
Nothing Like You - Luke Combs
Before he cheats - Carrie Underwood
Mama’s broken Heart - Miranda Lambert
Spilled Perfume - Pam Tillis
Body Like a Back Road - Sam Hunt
She Wouldn’t Be Gone - Blake Shelton
love me like a girl - Kelsea Ballerini
Beautiful Drug - Zac Brown Band
Stilettos - Kelsea Ballerini
Razor Blade - Luke bryan
H.O.L.Y - Florida Georgia Line
Heartbeat - Carrie Underwood
Teardrops on my guitar - Taylor Swift
Speechless - Dan + Shay
The Rest of Our Life - Tim McGraw, Faith Hill
Back to life - Rascal Flatts
Love’s Gonna Live Here - Buck Owens
devil woman - Marty Robbins
Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

Vitamins - Queen Herby
My first thought was the audacity of me making a business woman playlist when I haven’t worked a day in my life, and currently live off of my parent’s money and my disability benefits But my second thought was hang on Caitlin, you’ve poured blood sweat and tears into this book, written all night, typed all day, made playlist after playlist, filled two whole rooms with material to sort through, And that’s without the business studies era, where you’d wake up early and either type up some of Girl Behind the Mask, make a poster, do an assignment or attend a conference that you felt you had every right to attend, that usually finished about 10 in the evening I worked myself into the ground with the business studies diploma and the book and ended up hospitalised with psychosis and insomnia So while I may not be your standard 9 to 5 working gal I will put in the hours when it matters to me I’m disadvantaged in some ways, and haven’t been ready for a job since I was nineteen, I recently volunteered at a bunny sanctuary for an hour on a Saturday to dip my toe into the real world and in sixth form I volunteered for an hour at a care home every Tuesday That’s the extent I can manage it seems, an hour I prefer writing personally, that’s why I’d like to make a career out of it, or singing, or business

Business woman playlist:

One Girl Revolution - Superchick
7 rings - Ariana Grande
Boss bitch - Doja Cat
Independent Woman pt 1 - Destiny’s Child
Last Chance - Nicki Minaj
Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani, Eve
She Loves Control - Camilla Cabello
Woman Like Me - Little Mix, Nicki Minaj
Most girls - Hailee Steinfeld
Glorious - Macklemore, Skylar Grey
you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish
Girl Almighty - One Direction
Money - Cardi B
That’s my girl - Fifth Harmony
LIVIN THE DREAM - Queen Herby
Work Bitch - Britney Spears
Flawless - Beyonce, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
My Own Boss - Dizzy Dizzo
Look at Her Now - Selena Gomez
Mission - Queen Herby
Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha, Ty Dolla $ign
How It’s Done - Cash Doll, Kim Petras, ALMA, Stefflon Don
9 to 5 - Dolly Parton
Joan of Arc - Little Mix
Started - Iggy Azalea
Diamonds - Megan Thee Stallion, Normani

Then the men we try to love say we carry too much loss, wear too much black, are too heavy to be around, much too sad to love. Then they leave, and we mourn them too. written by What we own from “Our Men Do Not Belong To Us” (via funcionoacafe) (via barriobruja) ‘Cause if we don’t leave this town, we might never make it out. I was not born to drown, Baby come on. She's up for doing what she like, Any day more like the night. She drowned drunk sorrows. That she stole, bought, borrowed She didn't like fights, But at the same time understood that Fellas will be fellas till the end of time. "I miss you - blink-182 Baby is very complicated to explain to another person, she was a concept, a representation of the ideal feminine archetype, born from an adolescent traumatic experience. I miss her all the time, and not at all, simultaneously She would exhaust me, drain me of all my resources, degrade me, humiliate me, hold my head underwater for months, years at a time, I bent over backwards trying to keep up. She would take the wheel, and prevent me from reacting, speaking, breathing, living. I never saw myself surviving the identity disorder at all.” 60’s/70’s/80’s playlist: